I talk to a lot of single moms who feel self conscious, who feel like they're met with judgmental looks or condescending comments from others who don't understand what we go through. I'm a single mom myself and am all too familiar with the shame that can be imposed on us.
I have heard pretty much ALL of the single mommy assumptions and stereotypes like, "she must be selfish, careless, full of drama, carrying a lot of baggage, promiscuous, or downright irresponsible." This long list of assumptions doesn’t exactly leave a woman feeling confident, sexy or sometimes even worthy of a good partner. So lets focus on the bright side of being a single mom and how it can translate into being one highly desirable catch!
Why Dating a Single Mom is a Great Thing
1. Single moms are independent.
You're most likely driving kids to dance and soccer, bathing the baby, helping with homework or prepping lunches for the week. You certainly don’t have time for intimacy games, jealousy or clinginess. You're in your element and truly fulfilled taking care of your family and that display of focus and competency is highly attractive.
2. Single moms love fiercely.
Sleep deprivation, stomach bugs, constant messes, outrageous temper tantrums, loss of personal time … raising kids is the BEST way to learn how to love unconditionally. You know how to exude affection when life is crazy tough and how to give without expecting it to benefit you in return. Your endless patience and ability to pour yourself into others are undeniably sought-after traits.
3. Single moms are ambitious.
You are probably juggling a career, motherhood, cooking dinner, and keeping your checking account in the green. You are the master at prioritizing what is most important and setting goals for success. You are a woman with a plan. Determination and hard work are no strangers to you and those traits are abundantly refreshing in committed relationships.
4. Single moms are good in bed.
You have witnessed your body go through some next to impossible challenges while carrying and delivering those babies. You grew and birthed a walking, talking human being which means you most likely no longer obsess over minor imperfections in your appearance. You have a deep respect for what your figure is capable of and feel comfortable in your own skin. The biggest predictors of amazing sex are confidence and openness. Don’t be afraid to use your strong sense of body confidence to bring your sex life to new heights.
The idea that most potential partners want to run the other way when they see a single mom simply isn’t true. A great deal of women and men see the attributes of single moms as irresistible. Potential partners who do not see these qualities as sexy are most likely not at the same life stage as you and that’s okay. Having kiddos provides you with you with a built in filter that quickly sorts through all the toads to find your charming mate.
P.S. Who wouldn’t want to date a girl with a pantry stocked full of all of the childhood favorites?!
To schedule an appointment with Lindley Domingue, LMFT-Associate, call 512-953-7085.